For Everything, I Thank You, Uncle Ben

My Uncle Ben (Baldassare) Angelo lost his battle with cancer this morning, August 16, 2009. Uncle Ben was a great man who was loved by many. His wife (my Aunt Elaine), daughter (Maureen), sons (Steve & Chuck), his 7 grandchildren and great grandchildren, sister (my mom), brothers, nieces, nephews, and numerous other relatives and friends meant the most to him. They will all miss him tremendously and so will I. He left us all with so much, and so much for which I would like to thank him.

There were many things that were so special about Uncle Ben, but perhaps the most special was his simple appreciation for the important things in life and his ability to touch people's hearts with his love and sense of humor. What he loved most was spending time with his family, eating a good meal, having a good drink and making people laugh. He didn't really need much more than that. That's what I truly admired about him. He taught us to keep it simple and real. To this day, no matter how complicated life seems, I think of Uncle Ben and am reminded that as long as I have family & friends who love me, that all that matters. For that I thank you, Uncle Ben.

I have lots of great memories of Uncle Ben. When I was a little boy, Uncle Ben was a blast to be around. He would do this crazy magic trick that would make it look like he could pull his thumb off his hand. I remember sitting wide-eyed, mouth open thinking, "how did he do that? Does he need to go to the hospital?". He also had a skill for making rings out of dollar bills, which we loved. We were the coolest kids in the neighborhood because we had those rings and the other kids didn't. Every Palm Sunday, Uncle Ben would take the palms and weave different designs with them. Most famous of them were the intricate crosses that he would would weave and give to us. He would also take the palm crosses to the cemetery and leave at the gravestones of our family members. That was Uncle Ben-- never forgetting the friends and family who had passed. For that, I thank you, Uncle Ben.

Uncle Ben never lost his touch over the years for making kids laugh. Whether it was dressing up as Santa Claus at Christmas or putting together the best Easter egg hunt you could possibly imagine, he found a way to make kids happy. The faces of my own children, Malena and Marco, would light up whenever they saw Uncle Ben for they knew that it meant fun: magic tricks, jokes and playtime. It made them happy. For that, I thank you, Uncle Ben.

My dad loved Uncle Ben, especially spending time talking with him-- like two old guys back in the Old Country. They would joke and laugh, teasing one another (usually Uncle Ben teasing my dad). When my father died, Uncle Ben cried with us and was there for me and my family. I was only 20 years old at the time and had a lot of fear about the future. I will be eternally grateful to Uncle Ben for serving as a surrogate father to me and for taking care of my mom at that time and over the years. "No one could have asked for a better brother than him. He is so good to me," my mom would say. Knowing that she felt that way made me happy and reassured. For that, I thank you, Uncle Ben.

Uncle Ben was a World War II veteran, having served his country proudly in the US Navy in the Atlantic, Mediterranean and Middle East. Like all Americans who fought in that war, he was a hero in the Greatest Generation. His service helped preserve the freedom we all enjoy today. For that, I thank you, Uncle Ben.

Uncle Ben had a strong connection to his Italian heritage, for which he was proud. I loved hearing the stories of how his parents (my grandparents) came to this country, worked hard and passed on so much to our family. In fact, it's these stories that make me proud of my own Italian heritage today and inspired me to live in Italy back in the mid-1990s so that I could learn about my family, experience the 'mother country' and learn Italian. The experiences of walking the narrow streets of Salemi, the little village in Sicily where Uncle Ben's parents came from, and numerous other experiences, helped forge my identity of who I am today. For that I thank you, Uncle Ben.

Uncle Ben and I used to enjoy to banter back and forth in Italian (well, he would speak in Sicilian) while sharing cannoli (and a cream puff, and a perugina cake, and biscotti....) and of course, an espresso. I loved it because I could practice my fading Italian, but also because I finally had someone who would share an espresso with me (drinking espresso alone can get lonely). He was always willing to have a second cup (and a third), sometimes mixing it with Sambuca, sometimes not. It wasn't the food and drink that mattered, it was the conversation. The conversations were always enjoyable, made me laugh, and provided a highlight for the day. For that, I thank you Uncle Ben.

This morning, God called Uncle Ben home. It was a lot earlier than any of us expected, but I am comforted knowing that he's probably hanging out up there-- sitting around a big table, eating lasagna and braciole, drinking Fortissimo wine and surrounded by family and friends. That's how I'll remember him-- full of life, surrounded by the people he loves and who love him, and laughing. Thank you for the memories, Uncle Ben. Thank you for being my uncle. For everything, I thank you, Uncle Ben.